Past midnight thoughts,

I haven’t done this in a long while. A little reflection on how things are going for me when really, I should be asleep. So forgive me if I’m not grammatically correct. Or if I’m rather incoherent. I’m also pretty sure the formatting of this little post is going to make everything on my blog look a little wonky.

Tonight, my thoughts are surrounding where I am in my career. ‘Career’. That sounds like a such a big word.

To be honest, this year hasn’t been particularly great in the job aspect. I haven’t had any major leaps. And this sort of scares me, especially since I’m past the entry job level and I really need to consider where I’m headed. What’s next for me?

(sometimes I think to myself, life would be so much easier if I was still in school. I guess most everyone feel that way)

When I think about my ideal dream job, I think about having the ability to write. To see my words on paper, or in today’s context, on a digital platform even. But if you asked me the kind of writing I would want to do, I’m torn. Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know if this industry is even that right one to be in, in terms of monetary benefits. I’m being brutally honest here. It does bother me a little that I’m lagging behind in that aspect. Plus, they say turning a passion into a job isn’t exactly the best idea. Sometimes I share those sentiments. Sometimes the self-doubt really cuts deep into me.

If that’s the case, then what really is the ideal job? There’s so many factors that constitute the ‘ideal’ job.

So as of right now, I’m rethinking the concept of my ideal job. Maybe it’s a way to make me feel better. Maybe it’s a way to for me to press on.

So when I think of my ideal job, I think of something that allows me to use my talent. I think of something that requires an excellent mind, I think of something that forces me to use my brains. I think of something that doesn’t just bank on my looks, on anything physical for that matter. I think of something that requires a certain independence to excel in, but also the ability to work with people with the same amount of passion I possess.

When I think of it in that manner, I guess I’m not too far away. Perspective – it’s such a funny thing. You may think everything is bleak, but when you see it from a fresh pair of eyes….maybe things aren’t so bad.

And maybe…one day this will pay off.


To keep me going,


“The sun is perfect and you woke this morning. You have enough language in your mouth to be understood. You have a name, and someone wants to call it. Five fingers on your hand and someone wants to hold it. If we just start there, every beautiful thing that has and will ever exist is possible. If we start there, everything, for a moment, is right in the world.”

– Warsan Shire


Turning 24,


Turned 24 two weekends ago! I intended to type down a lil bit of my thoughts on turning a year older but I’ve been swamped both work-wise and personal life wise. But succumbing to a flu, cough and sore throat has got me home early from work today so I have a little bit of time of my hands.

My year as a 23-year-old wasn’t exactly as monumental or life-changing. In fact it was rather stagnant. In terms of work, I don’t think I’ve made much progress, but rather, I’m still in the process of learning. Outside of work, nothing much has happened. I guess you could say it was a static year.

I think I lead a simpler life now. My after work activities consist of just dinner with friends. Weekends are for winding down from the week or catching the latest movies. A stark contrast to the partying I did from 19-22 haha! But it’s a good change. A change for the better.

My social circle has drastically reduced. When you get older, it’s so much easier to sieve out the real friends from the fake ones. And one thing you realise…you’re perfectly contented with just a handful of good friends. It’s more important to invest in these real relationships rather than putting in so much effort in people that will just stop checking up on you one day. I’ve got real gems I can count on. Not forgetting, the unfailing love of my family.





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Birthday celebrations were kept simple as well – just the way I wanted it to be. Kicked off the weekend with a dinner and a movie with my friends. My birthday eve was spent with the greatest boyfriend, who meticulously planned everything out (and even spoilt me with six gifts!) My birthday itself fell on Mother Day’s so it was a joint celebratory dinner for my family. Very fitting indeed since I wouldn’t be here without my mum. Funnily enough, I ordered a cake and flowers set for her, not knowing she was going to surprise me with a cake as well (and a Chanel one!). The gift for my mum brought tears to her eyes as it was unexpected. That was my favourite memory of the day.

So my birthday came and went and I can’t help but notice how quiet and fuss-free this one was. I used to go all out for my birthday celebrations but this simple one, spent with the ones I treasure the most, was so perfect. Is this a sign of getting old?

Next year onwards I’ll officially be in my mid twenties, probably caught in a quarter life crisis. But for now, I shall enjoy being a 24-year-old and worry about that later. Sure, I didn’t make any giant leaps as a 23-year-old but one thing’s for sure – I am happy (well, with the exception of pre-menstrual syndrome periods), healthy and loved. All I wish for in this year is that that doesn’t change. After all, that’s all that matters.




“You pour yourself into the thing that measures you and it defines you. And I just hope that one day you find out that you’re fuller when you measure yourself in love and people and moments, instead of things, adoration and money.” – I Wrote This For You and Only You


I Can’t Keep Still,


For as long as I can remember, I have an issue with remaining listless. I get bored easily. Even staying home for a day at times and doing absolutely nothing can make me go crazy.

I’ve always piled up my schedule. It started way back in secondary school, where I balanced schoolwork, Indian Dance as a CCA, and my Drama Elective. And then came JC, when Theatre Studies plus Indian Dance saw me staying in school till around 9pm on a regular basis.

When uni came, I have to admit I got too excited. I started off with acting with NUS Stage, and then decided I wanted to try something completely different and joined the cheerleading squad. Practice was crazy, and suffice to say my grades suffered. Then I decided I wanted to be a writer and started writing for the school magazine. If all that wasn’t enough, I went and got myself an external contributing writer stint.

I entered the working world pretty early as compared to some of my peers. Fresh from graduating, I began my full-time job. Work has consumed me, but I soon found that outside of my job, I didn’t amount to anything much. Yes, I got bored. After all, my job became more of a commitment and responsibility as opposed to something I had the liberty of choosing to do because I enjoyed it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy what I do very much (on most days). But a job is a job at the end of the day.

So recently, I got involved in theatre again. Albeit its a small thing, I’m actually looking forward to it. Finally, I’m indulging in some of my interests outside of my job. It even makes sacrificing my Saturday mornings for the next few months to attend rehearsals worth it.

Honestly, I’m still not too sure how this is all going to pan out. Knowing me, I pile my schedule up like crazy and then get overwhelmed and suffer some kind of breakdown or exhaustion.

But from all my years of taking on much more than I can actually handle, I’ve realised that I’ve never regretted it. These little things that take up your time actually make for some of the best memories in my life.

So I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that I’m going to enjoy this process, no matter how exhausting, stressful or tiring it may be.

After all, sacrifices are needed to live a meaningful life.


The Comfort Zone,

I’ve been thinking a lot about the comfort zone recently.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I thought I would rate my bravery to explore beyond my comfort zone as a 7. I mean, I lived in Colombia for approximately two months and risked getting shot in the head and/or getting kidnapped…I kid, Colombia is actually not as dangerous as people think. You just need to know the places to stay away from. In spite of its ‘rougher’ areas, Colombia is still the most beautiful and welcoming country I’ve ever been in and I strongly encourage everyone to visit. (Side note: I’ve been watching Narcos and it’s making me miss Medellin sooo much)

Back to the point.

I think recently I’ve been doing things that are out of my comfort zone. First it was trekking up Mt. Batur and then it was abseiling down Goa Jomplang (which I will blog about soon I hope), both of which were in Indonesia. These activities are relatively simple, but although I’ve always wanted to do such things, I was much too often plagued by worries. But it’s like biting off a small chuck of chocolate. Once you’ve had that tiny piece, you find yourself craving more. I want to do more adventurous stuff in the future!

But actually that’s not the point of this post hahaha.

The point is – when it comes to bigger life decisions, I find myself choosing my comfort zone. For example, in the past couple of weeks, I was pondering over a job prospect in another country. Usually, I would be excited to get the opportunity to work outside of Singapore. But the country in question was less than ideal, not even a country I am even keen to visit on holiday.

So, I decided to let it go. Now I’m not sure if I turned it down because the prospect wasn’t a good one, or I was just unwilling to leave my comfort zone. Not forgetting, the older you get, the more you need to choose practical over ideal. It’s very easy for someone to say he/she would gladly uproot his/her life and move somewhere elsewhere. But when the opportunity presents itself, not everyone will take it up. There’s actually so much at stake as well. Family, friends, maybe a lover…Who is going to look after your parents while you’re away? Is it going to be easy to come back and pick up where you left off?

How do you muster up the courage to take the plunge and follow an idealistic dream and ignore the consequences and the paralyzing fear that may or may not come with your choice? That’s what I’ve been pondering over.

Disclaimer: I don’t regret the decision I made. At least, not at the moment. Maybe the right opportunity will come knocking on my door another time and I won’t even have to muster up any courage, because I would be 100% willing to take the leap.


The Magic of Bon Iver,


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Caught Bon Iver live with X on Friday. It was such a beautiful night, you have no idea. My favourite album is probably For Emma, Forever Ago (cathartic break-up album haha) but since it’s the earlier album, I was afraid it wouldn’t be played as much. But my fears were unfounded! I especially enjoyed Flume and Blindsided, but that’s just me being biased cos they’re my favourites from the album. And then there was the breathtaking performance of Skinny Love. Throughout the concert, an entire band was present including The Staves who served as backup singers (and were extremely magical I must say, such angelic voices), but for Skinny Love, it was just Justin Vernon, his guitar and his incredible voice. He actually has a good sense of humour too, which was perfect because it was a break from all them feeeeeelssss of the music.

Safe to say I have #noragrats paying 70 bucks for a ticket.