Past midnight thoughts,

I haven’t done this in a long while. A little reflection on how things are going for me when really, I should be asleep. So forgive me if I’m not grammatically correct. Or if I’m rather incoherent. I’m also pretty sure the formatting of this little post is going to make everything on my blog look a little wonky.

Tonight, my thoughts are surrounding where I am in my career. ‘Career’. That sounds like a such a big word.

To be honest, this year hasn’t been particularly great in the job aspect. I haven’t had any major leaps. And this sort of scares me, especially since I’m past the entry job level and I really need to consider where I’m headed. What’s next for me?

(sometimes I think to myself, life would be so much easier if I was still in school. I guess most everyone feel that way)

When I think about my ideal dream job, I think about having the ability to write. To see my words on paper, or in today’s context, on a digital platform even. But if you asked me the kind of writing I would want to do, I’m torn. Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know if this industry is even that right one to be in, in terms of monetary benefits. I’m being brutally honest here. It does bother me a little that I’m lagging behind in that aspect. Plus, they say turning a passion into a job isn’t exactly the best idea. Sometimes I share those sentiments. Sometimes the self-doubt really cuts deep into me.

If that’s the case, then what really is the ideal job? There’s so many factors that constitute the ‘ideal’ job.

So as of right now, I’m rethinking the concept of my ideal job. Maybe it’s a way to make me feel better. Maybe it’s a way to for me to press on.

So when I think of my ideal job, I think of something that allows me to use my talent. I think of something that requires an excellent mind, I think of something that forces me to use my brains. I think of something that doesn’t just bank on my looks, on anything physical for that matter. I think of something that requires a certain independence to excel in, but also the ability to work with people with the same amount of passion I possess.

When I think of it in that manner, I guess I’m not too far away. Perspective – it’s such a funny thing. You may think everything is bleak, but when you see it from a fresh pair of eyes….maybe things aren’t so bad.

And maybe…one day this will pay off.

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