Spending the last day of 2015 at a funeral was not how I envisioned New Year’s Eve to be. It both drizzled and rained – somehow it was perfect for a fitting farewell.
I have to admit that I am not the most doting granddaughter. Sundays were always reserved for visiting Nanny and Papa. But as years went by, I got caught up with my own life that at times I skipped going over to my grandmother’s place. Funny how we always regret things when it’s too late.
At 94, Nanny’s memory was not as good as before. Soon, she began to forget my name, and I was always referred to as “girl”. But she always remembered that there were 3 of us. When we went over and it was only one of my sisters and I, she would ask: “Where is the other one?” Hence, despite her failing memory slowly getting the best of her, I knew that she still remembered me as her grandchild.
Life will not be the same anymore. There will be no more Sundays visiting Nanny. There will be no more sitting down and watching television with her. Or helping her get up her seat so she can take a quick walk around the house (despite her knees not being good as before). Or laughing at the adorable things she would say because of her memory.
Nanny: Take me to work!
Us: You’re not working anymore Nanny. You retired long ago.
Nanny: I don’t care, I want to go to work!
Us: Okay, where do you work?
Nanny: I don’t know, you take me then I know lah.
For my father, the effect is greater. He told us how he now feels empty. Because he can’t call his mother to check up on her anymore. Nor head over to visit and spend time with her.
Despite the circumstances, ending the year with putting my Nanny to rest has shown me how important the ties of family are. From the tears shed and the solidarity of everyone coming together…it truly is a beautiful thing.
I feel regretful that I’ve spent a large chunk of the year chasing after things that were not as important as family. Though it was melancholic, it was a reminder that was much needed.
It was a beautiful farewell. I’m sure that Nanny is now reunited with Papa, and I’m sure she’s happy that everyone she loved came together.
Rest in Peace Nanny.
All my love.